Once again, didn't get to see my Romeo. Once again, I'm waiting for her to come by on a big ass stallon and rescue me away from this horrific world. Right at the moment I'm listening to Jasmine Sullivan, "Silent Tears", it's a good song. I highly suggest you listen to it, that girl can sanggg. lmfao.
To be truthful, ain't shit happen today. The classes passed by so quickly and I did, however, realize how people don't give a shit about anyone's feeling anymore. I understand that maybe in this world you gotta start thinking of yourself because in the end no one can help you but you. Not to get all relgious on people's asses but i do believe that God has a certain path for us, and that he helps to an extent. We, the people on this Earth, can't always depend on Him. He's not going to do everything. But seriously, we all can't just give up on other people, and disregard how they see things in life. What happened to being kind and giving respect? Why are so many teenagers angsty? Why are parents so overprotective and raising their children to be afraid of adulthood? They don't realize it but when you keep your child guarded, s/he'll eventually find out shit that you don't want them to, and not in a good way. Of course, you can always talk to him/her but what child listen to their parent(s)? You can keep away forever.
It's true when you keep them locked up, especially in a world with so much temptation, when they are free -- dey ass is gonn go wild! shitt.
Well, i pretty much have nothing else on my mind and my mother is being a jerk so I gotta go.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Tired.
Woke up at one in the afternoon today. Currently tried to the IMVU thing, and honestly I don't see the point of it. My mother hasn't stopped bitching at me since I've woken up and I feel like i'm going to puke. Can't wait to go to school tomorrow to see my Romeo. Despite the fact that my mother yelled at me all day long it has been pretty much a quiet day.
I've yet to talk to Romeo, I miss her so dearly. Soon she won't be able to see me every morning like usual, because she has this new class which requires her being there at 7:45 in the morning. ugh, shoot me in the face. so i guess i'll just return to smoking.
Yeap, i smoke. I know it's bad, especially since I sing and dance, but I'm under a lot of stress and pressure. Like I've stated before, it may seem that I have a great mother and great family, but don't judge a book by its cover. Remember that there's always two stories. Smoking, seems to relieve me of my stress when I can contact my girl, or when I don't feel like talking to anyone else. I'm not addicted, I swear. It just, I don't have much of anything anymore. I can't take out my anger on someone else during martial arts class, and singing... that just doesn't work either. I can't dance because I've seem to lost major interest in it. I've grown lazy and bored.
It looks to many people like I have depression. But, that's just not it. It's just the fact of not seeing the one I love, for a long amount of time. She's all I've been focusing on. I know that I shouldn't isolate myself to only her, but I can't help it. No one seems to grasp my looks on things besides her. They may think they understand but believe me they don't. I wish they did.
Wish i wasn't so simple that it was complicated for the human brain to comprehend.
I've yet to talk to Romeo, I miss her so dearly. Soon she won't be able to see me every morning like usual, because she has this new class which requires her being there at 7:45 in the morning. ugh, shoot me in the face. so i guess i'll just return to smoking.
Yeap, i smoke. I know it's bad, especially since I sing and dance, but I'm under a lot of stress and pressure. Like I've stated before, it may seem that I have a great mother and great family, but don't judge a book by its cover. Remember that there's always two stories. Smoking, seems to relieve me of my stress when I can contact my girl, or when I don't feel like talking to anyone else. I'm not addicted, I swear. It just, I don't have much of anything anymore. I can't take out my anger on someone else during martial arts class, and singing... that just doesn't work either. I can't dance because I've seem to lost major interest in it. I've grown lazy and bored.
It looks to many people like I have depression. But, that's just not it. It's just the fact of not seeing the one I love, for a long amount of time. She's all I've been focusing on. I know that I shouldn't isolate myself to only her, but I can't help it. No one seems to grasp my looks on things besides her. They may think they understand but believe me they don't. I wish they did.
Wish i wasn't so simple that it was complicated for the human brain to comprehend.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Intro. =]
I have now written my little introduction about five times and deleted it five times. This will be my sixth attempt to write a blog. Why it is so difficult to write at the moment, is beyond me! I can't seem to figure out what I would like to say. Well, I guess I should start with my name and who I am, should I? My friend has already taken the responsibilty to rename me, which makes it easier on me, I don't have to go crazy over choosing a fake name to describe me. She has choosen this name for my relationship with my girlfriend is much similiar to the real "Romeo&Juliet" & I am juliet.
Hopefully, no one of you reading my blog get offended by what I say. Please keep in mind my blogs are usually only a rant, which brings to praying my friends or anyone else reads this. Believe me I love all the people who give me their friendship but it's just the fact that no one truly understands me except, my girlfriend, who seems to know everything about me and get it. If she doesn't, she is doing a good job of being supportive. Maybe, there's a chance they will not know it's me. =/ Although I don't know many people who think the way I do. =/ The only person who knows about this blog is my good friend Martini. She's someone I'd like to think I can truly call my friend, even though she doesn't know much about me. I love that I can come to her about my relationship and even though she doesn't know the answer, I'll feel better about coming to her.
It's extremely hard to find good friends these days. Someone who gets along with my personality, I'm not the funniest person you'll meet, or the most interesting. My mother doesn't let me out much and so I don't have an adventerous life like many teenagers lead. Also, I'm not so social as I used to be, which is most likely caused due to the fact my mother doesn't allow me to see my girlfriend. I was always happy and joyful, i mean sincerely happy. No one could bring me down, until my mother forbidded me to see her. I couldn't find someone I liked talking to just for fun. My whole attitude changed, and I changed. I don't like hanging out around people anymore. Also, like every other teenager, I don't like being in the house. Seems like I'm only ever happy when I'm around my girlfriend who I shall call Romeo. Romeo's voice used to be all I needed but after a long time, you miss their warmth and their kisses. I'm very affectionate so I need physical love too. =/ I do realize I'm lucky she's still with me even though we have a short distance, but sometimes just hearing them isn't enough.
Not only do you know, you can't see them, being in my house would drive you crazy. My mother is always yelling about every little thing you did wrong, and my pre-teen sister is going through that rebel adolescent phase! To top it off Angel, my youngest sister (3) is always screaming or crying because she's not gettting what she wants. My step-father is somewhat of a pervert, also. Always stares at me in a strange manner that makes me extremely uncomfortable. He knows that there's no chance of anything happen for I could deport his ass and ruin his life. =] I believe I'm a strong girl, and I can make it through a lot for my size and age. But like every human being, I have a breaking point. And it seems I'm going to reach that breaking point soon where I'll go crazy. This isn't the first time I've said it, so who knows?
Maybe my queen will rescue me, just like she did the last time.
Except, I'm asian and a lesbian.
Hopefully, no one of you reading my blog get offended by what I say. Please keep in mind my blogs are usually only a rant, which brings to praying my friends or anyone else reads this. Believe me I love all the people who give me their friendship but it's just the fact that no one truly understands me except, my girlfriend, who seems to know everything about me and get it. If she doesn't, she is doing a good job of being supportive. Maybe, there's a chance they will not know it's me. =/ Although I don't know many people who think the way I do. =/ The only person who knows about this blog is my good friend Martini. She's someone I'd like to think I can truly call my friend, even though she doesn't know much about me. I love that I can come to her about my relationship and even though she doesn't know the answer, I'll feel better about coming to her.
It's extremely hard to find good friends these days. Someone who gets along with my personality, I'm not the funniest person you'll meet, or the most interesting. My mother doesn't let me out much and so I don't have an adventerous life like many teenagers lead. Also, I'm not so social as I used to be, which is most likely caused due to the fact my mother doesn't allow me to see my girlfriend. I was always happy and joyful, i mean sincerely happy. No one could bring me down, until my mother forbidded me to see her. I couldn't find someone I liked talking to just for fun. My whole attitude changed, and I changed. I don't like hanging out around people anymore. Also, like every other teenager, I don't like being in the house. Seems like I'm only ever happy when I'm around my girlfriend who I shall call Romeo. Romeo's voice used to be all I needed but after a long time, you miss their warmth and their kisses. I'm very affectionate so I need physical love too. =/ I do realize I'm lucky she's still with me even though we have a short distance, but sometimes just hearing them isn't enough.
Not only do you know, you can't see them, being in my house would drive you crazy. My mother is always yelling about every little thing you did wrong, and my pre-teen sister is going through that rebel adolescent phase! To top it off Angel, my youngest sister (3) is always screaming or crying because she's not gettting what she wants. My step-father is somewhat of a pervert, also. Always stares at me in a strange manner that makes me extremely uncomfortable. He knows that there's no chance of anything happen for I could deport his ass and ruin his life. =] I believe I'm a strong girl, and I can make it through a lot for my size and age. But like every human being, I have a breaking point. And it seems I'm going to reach that breaking point soon where I'll go crazy. This isn't the first time I've said it, so who knows?
Maybe my queen will rescue me, just like she did the last time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
